A Thanksgiving Faith

I had prepared for what certainly would have been an incredibly profound and moving (for those who do not know me, I'm kidding) lesson for a Thanksgiving service.  However, as is wont to happen in Iowa this time of year, weather intervened and the service was cancelled.  Still, let me state the main point of my punditry here as a commemoration of this Thanksgiving Day 2010. 

In St. Paul's second letter to the Corinthian Christians, he makes a clear and certain statement that thanksgiving is not just something we do ourselves, but it is the result of our deeds of service to others.  In fact, Paul goes so far as to say that it is our "obedience that accompanies" our "confession of the gospel of Christ" that causes others to praise God and give thanks.  

• This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else.  (II Corinthians 9:12-13) 

This is right down the line with what James declares in the canonized sermon that bears his name, "faith without deeds is dead." (James 2:26)  Of course, Jesus said it first and best in his Sermon on the Mount, "In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:26)

So on this day of Thanksgiving in which Americans take time to thank God for all the blessings and opportunities bestowed so graciously upon this great nation, it is important for all followers of Jesus to remember that our influence and effect upon our families, our friends, our neighbors, and our country are all based on a faith in Christ that expresses itself in tangible and sacrificial acts of service.

When our faith is a reflection of God's mission to us in Jesus Christ, then we and others can proclaim with St. Paul (in II Corinthians 9:15), "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!"

Fire In The Bones

I shocked myself yesterday! 

I had interviewed for a job several months ago that I thought I wanted.  The job would have demanded a huge amount of time and a commitment that would have effectively kept me from ever serving as a pastor in a church again.  It also would have meant a substantial increase in my income, which, of course, is very attractive right now.

Well, after not hearing from the interviewer for many months, and naturally assuming the opportunity was gone, I received a phone call yesterday asking me if I was still interested in this position.  This call came a few days after I had been eliminated from consideration for a pastor position at a congregation I deeply desired to serve.  It also came at the greatest point of discouragement in my search for a new pastoral call after over two years of seeking.  And this came at a time that finances are getting tighter, and family needs are getting greater.

Of course, I would take this position.  Right?  Well, I shocked myself by immediately saying, "No, I am no longer interested."  When I disconnected the phone, I thought, "What did I just do?"  Even more mysterious, "Why did I just do what I just did?" 

Then it hit me --- I did not want to put myself in a position where I cannot find a new call to serve as a pastor!  Despite everything, this call still is strong, even an overwhelming priority.  As Jeremiah so graphically paints it (in Jeremiah 20:9):
       His word is in my heart like a fire,
       a fire shut up in my bones.
       I am weary of holding it in;
       indeed, I cannot.

This is my call.  The "staff is still in my hand." This is what I must seek to do, as long as God so wills.  So, my search continues for a congregation with which I can share this "fire."

Lamenting The PCUSA Search Process

I have never really been a fan of the process used by most churches in the Presbyterian Church USA for selecting new pastors.  It is long, generally impersonal, given to mis-impressions, overly analytical, not prayer oriented enough, too secretive, and in the end not very effective.  Most congregations are not satisfied with the pastor they have chosen, and most pastors are not particularly thrilled with their congregation.  While the 2000 plus ministers seeking a new call partly indicates this, I am very aware that most pastors when they gather without their parishioners present commence to complain about their charges.  Rarely in almost 30 years of ministry have I heard a minister speak about their church with fondness and respect.  When I have, it has stood out clearly and refreshingly.  I resolved years ago to not kvetch about the people I serve, even if there was good justification (as I saw things) for doing so.

Anyway, the PCUSA selection process is geared to the candidate who can present the best appearance in a limited, short-term process --- kind of like going on a date and then deciding whether or not to get married!  O yes there are references, which, while helpful, are obviously going to be favorable since they were selected by the candidate.  The weekend interview is very illuminating, but only the few on the pastor nominating committee get to meet with the potential new leader of their congregation, and most any minister can muster a pleasant personality and decent sermon for one 2 to 3 day encounter.

Personally, I'm getting tired of the PCUSA selection process.  Of course, I've been stuck in these ecclesiastical doldrums for nigh on to 2 years now, so my inability to escape this process has certainly colored my perspective.  But after interview after interview, conversation after conversation, phone call after phone call, and being told for the umpteenth time that I was the next choice after the one who was called, I'm ready for a whole new approach to selecting a pastor in the PCUSA.  Here are my suggestions for a new approach that I think would make for better matches and more lively ministries.  Of course, I know no one will take any of these seriously, but permit me to indulge this cathartic rant.

First, get rid of the matching services of the PCUSA offices in Louisville.  Let pastors freely contact pastor nominating committees and pastor nominating committees freely contact pastors --- even those pastors who are not actively seeking another call.  Most of the churches I have been matched with are far from what I am seeking and I am usually far from what they are seeking.  In fact, I, an ardent biblical conservative who makes my evangelical orientation very clear in my Personal Information Form, have been matched at times with liberal More Light congregations!  Let's save the waste of paper when these congregations send out their "Dear Pastor" letters to all the matched candidates who they would never consider in this age or the age to come.

Second, ban phone interviews!  They are useless, and no one can really get a read on another person just through listening to a person speak to the air from miles away.  All interviews should be face-to-face.  Computers make it very easy to set up face-to-face encounters, and if possible, do an interview in person.  Give each candidate the opportunity to come and meet the pastor nominating committee in person.  Since those who do this would do so at their own expense, the committee would get an idea of how sincere the candidate's interest really is.  So what if this gives an advantage to local candidates.  It all evens out because it is also far easier for the committee to do more in depth research on a local candidate's ministry and character.

Third, take away the secrecy.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, this will create complications for candidates who currently are serving churches.  But what is so bad about a minister being open and honest about the possibility that they may be moving on?  This can be a great opportunity for a pastor and their church to deal with issues, understand one another better, and maybe even make the need to move unnecessary.  And what if it does still happen?  At least then the congregation losing a pastor can be more prepared, and will have dealt with the leaving in some fashion directly with the departing pastor, thus lessening the grief issues in the interim period.  Genuineness and authenticity among ministers and churches --- what a concept!

Fourth, make the on site interview at least a week long with the involvement of the whole congregation.  Have the candidate start the week on Sunday with a sermon, and then meet with people throughout the week in a variety of situations, from question and answer meetings to one-on-one conversations.  Make sure the candidate does a teaching series during the week, maybe even a "revival" week.  When the next Sunday comes around, do the worship service according to the ideas of the candidate, thus revealing the emphases and preferences this minister would bring to the church if they were called to be the "permanent" pastor.

After this week, the people would have a far more authentic and reliable experience of the style, personality, skills, and character of the candidate.  Sure, there may be some disagreement among the people regarding which candidate would be best, but at least the disagreements would be based on a truer and more complete knowledge rather than just illusionary impressions.  Plus, this kind of disagreement happens anyway in the present "neutral pulpit" process, except that there isn't any opportunity to process the disagreements in reconciling, maturing ways that increase the spiritual health of the congregation.

Fifth, never ever under any circumstances even begin to entertain the slightest possibility of interviewing a candidate who has not personally shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with at least 5 people in the last 3 months!  And give priority consideration to those who have actually led someone to Christ in these same months!  Our PCUSA congregations are literally held back by the ineptitude of pastors who either don't or won't do personal evangelism.  If a pastor doesn't share the Gospel on a regular basis, there is no way on God's earth that this same pastor can lead a church in healthy spiritual growth!

And sixth, don't ever continue considering a pastor who doesn't pray with the search team.  I don't mean some mealy mouthed recitation of some nice platitudes, but the heartfelt passion that comes from a soul who is in constant and intense communion with God as friend, lover, and sovereign Master!  We are talking "deep calling to deep" kind of praying.  If a pastor is not a person who "walks with the Lord in the cool of the evening," then they are not the kind of pastor who will be able to walk with a parishioner or a whole congregation in their time of trial.  As the prospective pastor prays, the nominating committee members need to ask themselves if this sounds like a professional clergy person who is seeking a hired position, or a loving shepherd who will serve the sheep with a servant's heart!

Well, there it is.  I feel a little better.  Now, back to preparing for this evening's phone interview....

God's Politics (abbreviated version)

As we all engage today in that great American privilege of voting, we do so amidst a cacophony of voices that are accusatory and condemning of those who disagree. Sure, this is not the case with every person involved in the American political process, but clearly there is little humility or grace exhibited in the political conversation in our nation this day. With great discredit to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, many in the Christian community are vociferously making their ideology supreme over their theology. Those on the ideological "Right" accuse those on the "Left" of everything from being uncaring to conspiring maliciously to destroy the United States. And there are the incredible attacks those on the "Left" make on the "Right." From vicious ad hominem ridicule (as in the case of Sarah Palin) to attacking conservatives as the "enemy," as our own President Obama did when speaking to a Latino group recently.

Now, I'm not trying to be cute here. I am politically conservative, and I believe in the superiority of capitalism over socialism, and of a free society over a managed society. However, I am also quite aware that I have brothers and sisters in Christ who sympathize and support "left-of-center " political causes and candidates. As I read the Bible, being the simple Kansas farm boy that I am, it seems pretty clear that my relationship as a fellow disciple of Jesus Christ is far above and far more permanent than anything in the political realm. God wants my theology always to trump my ideology! The Apostle Paul drives this truth home in his letter to the Romans (who, appropriate to this discussion, were very much like us Americans in so many ways).

• If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord.  ...You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? ...For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.  ...Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. ...For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.... (Romans 14:8a, 10ac, 13a, 17)

Plus, again as I read the Bible, I am to support and pray for my political leaders regardless of their ideology, politics, and even their personal beliefs. In fact, not only am I to pray for my leaders in my society, but I am to view them with the eyes of God: as humans for whom Christ died and who God loves regardless of their faults and shortcomings. So, I am not to view my leaders, my fellow citizens, and my fellow Christians through political lenses, but through the lens of the Cross, which makes us all fellow sinners in need of a non-partisan Saviour!

It seems God works with whatever political systems are in play in any society of people. All economic and governmental systems tend toward corruption, since human sinfulness is inherent in all systems no matter how well planned or how well intended. This does not mean that God is (or that we should be) totally neutral about politics and governing institutions. Clearly, occultic racist Nazism and soulless Marxism are to be deplored and fought against, while democratic and egalitarian practices in governing are to be rightly preferred. The more a political system works against the significance and dignity of humans as made in the image of God, the more it is to be opposed. The more a system affirms these basic realities of humans, the more we should embrace it. This is a biblical view that Christians of all cultures, politics, and countries can affirm together.

I will vote today for those candidates that I believe will help the most in keeping the United States a nation of free men and women who can enjoy economic opportunity with the least government interference. Yet, the Christian writer who impresses me as one of the most insightful followers of Jesus Christ I know of is Jacque Ellul, who while espousing an "anarchist approach," was a very passionate and active French socialist. Clearly, there are things in my life that are far more important than who I vote for and what kind of government I want. Quite literally, thank God for that. What a bleak existence it would be if my highest aspirations and most meaningful actions were merely political.

As we exercise our rights today and vote for what we believe are the best candidates for our society and government, I pray that those of us who count ourselves as followers of Jesus Christ will remember who we really are, Who really makes our lives worthwhile, and what kingdom we are really committed to. In so doing, we will be able to see our political adversaries first and foremost as persons who we love and pray for because of Christ and his sacrifice for us all. Hopefully, we can pray with love for those we vote against, and pray with humility for those we vote with. Let the world see something that transcends the fury and ferociousness of human-centered politics. Let the world see a God-centered people, and in wonder see again the work of God described in Acts 4:32, "All the believers were one in heart and mind."

God's Politics (full version)

There was a time in my life that I was an ardent reader of Sojourners Magazine, a publication of the Sojourners community based in Washington, D.C.  Their ideas and experience in doing Christian community and ministry were very illuminating to me, and influenced me greatly in my own passion for solidarity with the outcasts and marginalized of society.  From around 1985 to 1992, I could hardly wait until the next edition of this cutting edge magazine came out.

This all began to change in 1991 when I was talking with a friend of mine who was a member of the Bruderhof Community, an "all-things-in-common" Anabaptist communion that emphasizes biblical justice.  When I referred to a recent Sojourners article, naively assuming he of all people would be conversant with this magazine and the community behind it, he shocked me with his retort, "I don't read Sojourners."  "What?  Why don't you read Sojourners?"  I stammered.  "Because they are guided by their ideology, not the Bible," he calmly stated.

I couldn't believe it.  But the damage was done to my unquestioning acceptance of Sojourners being radically biblical in their opinions and positions.  I began to read the magazine with both eyes open, and, lo and behold, it became clear to me that the Sojourners ideology trumped the Bible almost every time they came into conflict.   Still, I kept attempting to rationalize this tendency (after all, no one likes admitting that they were so wrong with so much passion).  But finally, the truth became too obvious even for me when this community and their writers claimed that Christians could not be sure what the Scriptures taught concerning homosexuality.  This from the same people who could categorically declare with absolute certainty a biblical mandate for the United States unilaterally disarming itself and capitalism being intrinsically evil.  Along with this hubris, the Sojourners pointed their fingers at evangelical Christians and accused them of being the accommodating accomplices of a dominant culture led by shallow right wing leaders like Reagan and Bush.

Why do I recount this intellectual shift in my perspectives?  Because as we all engage today in that great American privilege of voting, we do so amidst a cacophony of voices that are accusatory and condemning of those who disagree.  Sure, this is not the case with every person involved in the American political process, but clearly there is little humility or grace exhibited in the political conversation in our nation this day.  With great discredit to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, many in the Christian community are vociferously making their ideology supreme over their theology.  Those on the ideological "Right" accuse those on the "Left" of everything from being uncaring to conspiring maliciously to destroy the United States.  And there are the incredible attacks those on the "Left" make on the "Right."  From vicious ad hominem ridicule (as in the case of Sarah Palin) to attacking conservatives as the "enemy," as our own President Obama did when speaking to a Latino group recently.

Now, I'm not trying to be cute here.  I am politically conservative, and I believe in the superiority of capitalism over socialism, and of a free society over a managed society.  However, I am also quite aware that I have brothers and sisters in Christ who sympathize and support "left-of-center " political causes and candidates.  As I read the Bible, being the simple Kansas farm boy that I am, it seems pretty clear that my relationship as a fellow disciple of Jesus Christ is far above and far more permanent than anything in the political realm.   God wants my theology always to trump my ideology!  The Apostle Paul drives this truth home in his letter to the Romans (who, appropriate to this discussion, were very much like us Americans in so many ways).

•  If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. ...You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat. It is written:  “‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, ‘every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.’”  Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. ...For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.  (Romans 14:8, 10-13, 17-18)

Plus, again as I read the Bible, I am to support and pray for my political leaders regardless of their ideology, politics, and even their personal beliefs.  In fact, not only am I to pray for my leaders in my society, but I am to view them with the eyes of God:  as humans for whom Christ died and who God loves regardless of their faults and shortcomings.  So, I am not to view my leaders, my fellow citizens, and my fellow Christians through political lenses, but through the lens of the Cross, which makes us all fellow sinners in need of a non-partisan Saviour!

Over and over again, the Scriptures warn us all to not regard one another according to governance or politics.  "Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save," says the Psalmist in 146:3.  Yet we are to pray, seek, and desire the best for our governing leaders.  "Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities," the Apostle Paul declares in Romans 13:1.  Of course, God opposes any leader (such as is the case in North Korea and Myanmar) who would usurp the place of God in the affairs of human life, as evidenced in God's actions against prideful rulers from Genesis to Revelation.  This is stated so well in the Barmen Declaration (written during the time of Nazi Germany): "We reject the false doctrine, as though the State, over and beyond its special commission, should and could become the single and totalitarian order of human life, thus fulfilling the Church's vocation as well."

Still, there is apparently a rightful place for government in God's view, and this view does not seem to prefer one kind of government over another.  God relates to people who live under a loose confederation, as in the book of Judges; who live under limited monarchy, as under the kings of Israel and Judah; who live under despotic tyrants, as in the book of Daniel; and who live in law-based empires, as the early Christians did in the Roman Empire.  The only mention of a preference by God is when the Israelites decided to choose a king for themselves, and God preferred that they not have any king but God.  Yet, God permitted and even sanctioned the growing monarchial institutions of Israel.

It seems God works with whatever political systems are in play in any society of people.  All economic and governmental systems tend toward corruption, since human sinfulness is inherent in all systems no matter how well planned or how well intended.  This does not mean that God is (or that we should be) totally neutral about politics and governing institutions.  Clearly, occultic racist Nazism and soulless Marxism are to be deplored and fought against, while democratic and egalitarian practices in governing are to be rightly preferred.  The more a political system works against the significance and dignity of humans as made in the image of God, the more it is to be opposed.  The more a system affirms these basic realities of humans, the more we should embrace it.  This is a biblical view that Christians of all cultures, politics, and countries can affirm together.

Yet, sinfulness in our hearts is always at work to undermine the most noble of political arrangements, even our own cherished American experiment.   Lassiez faire capitalism in theory provides the greatest promise of creating and sharing wealth in fair and just manners.  Yet, left unchecked, lasseiz faire capitalism gives rise to the domination of heartless monopolies that corral wealth for a few and deny opportunity for the many.   Socialism sounds like it would be the ideal way to prevent the pitfalls of free market capitalism, but this apparent solution is plagued with a tendency to become a "Big Brother" government that denies the dignity of the individual and the value of human ingenuity.

So what I am trying to say is that Christians more than any other people need to approach one another in humility and love regardless of differing political opinions and preferences for governing structures.  Capitalism and democracy are not the kingdom of God, just as socialism and monarchies are not.  Two of my wife's and my best friends are citizens of a country that esteems socialism as the best of all political systems.  One of these friends is absolutely horrified by most Americans (which includes me) disdain for socialism.  She is mystified by our emphasis on individualism and free market economics, believing it to be fraught with dangers.  Yet, she and her husband and my wife and I are able to regard each other in love and grace because our allegiance is not ultimately to a country or a political philosophy.  Both shall perish with our deaths, but the "righteousness, peace, and joy of the Holy Spirit" are eternal realities we share here and now!  

I will vote today for those candidates that I believe will help the most in keeping the United States a nation of free men and women who can enjoy economic opportunity with the least government interference.  Yet, the Christian writer who impresses me as one of the most insightful followers of Jesus Christ I know of is Jacque Ellul, who while espousing an "anarchist approach," was a very passionate and active French socialist.   Clearly, there are things in my life that are far more important than who I vote for and what kind of government I want.   Quite literally, thank God for that.  What a bleak existence it would be if my highest aspirations and most meaningful actions were merely political.

As we exercise our rights today and vote for what we believe are the best candidates for our society and government, I pray that those of us who count ourselves as followers of Jesus Christ will remember who we really are, Who really makes our lives worthwhile, and what kingdom we are really committed to.  In so doing, we will be able to see our political adversaries first and foremost as persons who we love and pray for because of Christ and his sacrifice for us all.  Hopefully, we can pray with love for those we vote against, and pray with humility for those we vote with.   Let the world see something that transcends the fury and ferociousness of human-centered politics.  Let the world see a God-centered people, and in wonder see again the work of God described in Acts 4:32, "All the believers were one in heart and mind."

A Fierce Goodness

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart,
O God, you will not despise.
(Psalm 51:17)

I had a rather unexpected experience recently where God impressed upon me how --- shall we say --- "fierce" his goodness is in the midst of overwhelming difficulties.  The occasion was a gathering of pastors and Christian leaders in the city I live in, and it seemed like it was going to be a better-than-average-but-not-necessarily-outstanding meeting.  At least, it felt this way to me until the presiding speaker asked us all to form a circle of chairs and give thanks to God in prayer.  This was all find and good, except he started the prayer time with a prayer about a friend of his who had just lost his 4 year old daughter in a car accident, yet was still declaring the goodness of God in his life.  This triggered in me the deep pain I carry yet manage regarding the paralysis of my 12 year old son, Seth, from a "surgical accident" about a year and a half ago.  I thought about how good God is, but at the same time how hard God is --- hard to understand, hard to follow at times, hard to deal with, hard to accept his ways.  Yet, God's goodness has been incredible in these last few years, as the more broken I've become, the more I've been able to receive and appreciate God's goodness to my family and me.

Sitting in this circle of pastors and leaders, I thought about how many of them had been the instruments of God's goodness in my life, how incredibly supportive and encouraging they had been in the many trials I've faced.  So, I started to pray a prayer of thanksgiving for their presence in my life and for how God has used them to help me.  It was going to be a wonderfully articulate prayer, but three or four words into the prayer, both grief and gratefulness washed over me like a flood.  I could barely speak, and through only great effort I blurted out some tearful exclamation of thanks to God for each of these people who have walked some very dark valleys with me.  I was severely humbled --- and somewhat embarrassed --- but very, very humbled.

This got me to thinking how God has worked in the events of the past few years.  God has brought me to a place where I am willing to acknowledge how weak I am, yet at the same time able to be more confident in God's goodness than ever before.  Like Paul in Colossians, I can say from deep within my soul those paradoxical words, "For when I am weak, then I am strong." (II Corinthians 12:10) 

In the past four years, I resigned from a very difficult head of staff position after trying to lead a church from a conventional member-centered minstry to a missional God-centered ministry.  Then, after having been well esteemed and respected in my denomination and having had a reputation as an excellent minister and consultant who could "turn churches around," I entered a time of being ignored by my denominational peers as irrelevant and ineffective.  I found myself unable to secure gainful employment, leading my family and I in mid-2008 to enter the foreboding world of being behind on our mortgage, garnished with all the humiliations of threatened foreclosure courtesy of our mortgage holder. 

Along with this, the Great Flood of 2008 hit Cedar Rapids, and I saw people's lives and livelihoods literally washed away.  Then my wife and I found work as menial laborers at a local cereal factory, doing the grunt work that the much higher paid employees didn't have to do.   After getting decent but low paying jobs which enabled us to get back on our financial feet, our ten year old son was paralyzed in the aforementioned "surgical accident."  With that devastation, my wife and I entered into a time of great stress on our relationship, and we very much felt the weight of financial, emotional, and spiritual oppression in our lives.

Yet, and this a really giant "yet," in this same time period we have seen the goodness of God in ways far beyond anything we could have ever imagined.  Friends have step forward to encourage us, not only with words, but with deeds of help and kindness.  Pastors have worked together not only to pray for my family and me, but have been present with us in the darkest hours of our trials.  We've seen God work financial miracles to keep us from losing our home and enabling us to provide well for our children.  And God has shown his goodness as both Christians and non-Christian friends have walked with us through our difficulties, and have expressed not just their care, but their love for us. 

While severely humbling, as we have had to open our hearts to receiving people's love rather than just giving it to others, it has revealed to us a view of God that only the hurting and the despairing can see --- a vision of God who makes the words "saviour" and "deliverer" so much more than mere titles we glibly attribute to a God who is so beautifully powerful, yet so fierce in His goodness.  The Psalmist well describes this view and experience in the opening words of Psalm 27.
                           The LORD is my light and my salvation—
                                 whom shall I fear?
                           The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
                                 of whom shall I be afraid?

This is why I choked up when trying to pray a simple prayer of thanksgiving at the meeting mentioned above.  I was surrounded by persons who had helped me out financially, had given me a job when I had to have one or lose my home, had laid hands on and prayed for the healing of my son, had spent hours crying with my wife and me, had given me the Word of God that I needed most at just the right times, had helped raise funds so my paralyzed son could participate in a program to help him walk again, who had helped lead my older son to commit his life to Christ, had helped my wife and I overcome the stress of dealing with tragedy, who had turned our mourning into dancing so many times.  In the face of so many good gifts from the Father of all good gifts, I can only barely speak in awe of the kindness of God and the sheer joy of being part of the loving family of God. 

Ironically, these humbling experiences of the last four years which have made me into a person and minister who is better able to serve a congregation are the very same factors that make me less attractive to a congregation.  In my denomination, pastor search committees look for the pastor who can boast of his or her accomplishments and successes in recent years, who can show the tangible results of a "growing" ministry, who can promise institutional advancement with self-confidence, and who can articulate their command of the latest church growth and management techniques.  It is hard for a typical search committee to find someone attractive who has spent the last four years being humbled by God's goodness, who has suffered tragedy, and who has had to lower themselves to do work that is consider menial in order to survive financially.  After all, not many congregations are going to be impressed with a new pastor being presented to them whose last "ministry" included cleaning toilets and mopping floors, yet is a humble servant of the Lord Jesus Christ, is focused on prayer and who is promising to lead not from strength, but from brokenness!

Still, as difficult and challenging the last four years have been, they have been the years in which I have began to follow Christ in Spirit and Truth.  My ministries before, which appear "successful" and are the kind that search committees find attractive, were really just superficial efforts geared to assuaging my desire for esteem and credibility.  Yes, God worked through me still, but not until my "heart" was made "contrite" and my "spirit broken" could I ever hope to do ministry that God "will not despise." 

I remember one of my seminary professors, Will Willimon, telling me about an experience Thomas Aquinas had shortly before his death, in which he had some kind of vision of God's goodness.  After this happened, he said, "Everything I have done before is just straw."  I think I understand what he was talking about now, as that is how I feel about my "successful" ministries before.  After having descended into the valleys of darkness, I now know in my experience the truth of not fearing harm because I know now (like I've never known before) the comfort of God walking with me --- a God who is fierce in protecting me and at the same time good in nurturing me. (Psalm 23:4)

So, after 29 years of being a minister of the Word and Sacrament, and well into my fifties, I am finally ready to live life and do ministry God's way.  As Paul the Apostle says, "I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (II Corinthians 12:9b)

I'm Confused (Not Really)!

I'm confused, (but not really)!  In the last few days I have read comments by former Presbyterian Church USA moderator Bruce Reyes-Chow about how Presbyterian "progressives" need to be sensitive to those of us who disagree about homosexuality.  He said in an interview with fellow progressive, Janet Edwards, that "We are all searching for God as our lives unfold. In the midst of our differences, we share a conviction that our relationship is built on God and our faith in Christ. I acknowledge that God is playing a role in the other person’s life.”  I would love for this to be true, that progressives would acknowledge the presence and activity of God in the lives of those with whom they disagree.

This idea of respect for one another despite differing views on how God views the practice of homosexuality is also being expressed by another prominent progressive, Professor Mark Achtemeier.  He is scheduled to do a debate on the issue, and supposedly Professor Achtemeier will be civil and respectful to those who hold to a biblical understanding (which is clearly not supportive of the acceptance of homosexual practice as God's intention for any person).

This is where I become confused (but not really).  Has Bruce Reyes-Chow softened his hardline rejection of conservative and evangelical views, which he slammed a short while ago when he decried "those Biblical literalists who have poisoned our understanding of marriage, sexuality and love." (Of course. the term "literalists" is a perjorative way to describe anyone who believes the Scriptures are the Word of God written, since there really are no true literalists, especially in the Presbyterian Church USA). And there is the gauntlet angrily thrown down by Professor Achtemeier shortly after his eyes were "illuminated" by the liberal light of "inclusion" when he states this about those with whom he disagrees: "...I can no longer close my eyes to the spiritual and psychological damage that flow from this well-intended but tragically misguided teaching."

While I do not doubt the sincerity and veracity of Mr. Reyes-Chow and Prof. Achtemeier, I also do not believe that there is a growing sense among Presbyterian progressives that the evangelical beliefs regarding homosexuality are seriously to be respected and engaged.  I am still convinced that they look down on those who disagree with them, and that they still believe their understanding is superior, justified, and most enlightened intellectually.  I no longer hope or trust that there is any intention on their part to give any credence to any notion that there is anything in the slightest wrong, immoral, or unbiblical about homosexual expression. 

So much for seeking common ground, or participating in any honest dialogue.