Perhaps this is a sign of aging, but lately I have been recalling some of my more enjoyable times of service as a pastor. A ministry I am especially fond of is the Cortland-Chenango Rural Services, a community self-development organization for the poor residents of a predominantly rural area about 60 miles southeast of Syracuse, New York. This grew out of an outreach initiative of the United Presbyterian Church of Cincinnatus, New York in 1987.
When I came in the spring of 1986 to serve as the pastor of this thriving little church in a breath-taking picturesque Appalachian valley, I was quite unprepared for the abject poverty afflicting so many people in this area. We are not just talking about low income! We’re talking about people with dirt floors in drafty shacks, little knowledge of basic health issues, pervasive tooth decay, undernourished infants, little or no reading ability making it impossible to fill out a job application, and no reliable transportation to get to a job. Most of this population eked out a living by cutting, selling, and using firewood. I even met people in their late 90’s who had never been further than a few miles outside the valley.
I really never had a plan for developing the Cortland-Chenango Rural Services. It was a ministry opportunity that was obvious and demanded my response. I discussed this problem with people in my congregation who knew the area far better than me. They and the local school officials were helpful in developing an understanding of the obstacles involved. I also networked with as many community leaders (both informal and official) as possible. After a year of getting to know the people, area, and culture, I asked several concerned individuals to sponsor a “Business Forum,” to be held as the outreach segment of a renewal week planned at the Presbyterian church. At this gathering I simply focused on the local poverty issues and opened discussion for sharing ideas on what we could do to make life better for the severely impoverished in our valley.
My wife, Jackie, and I were able to add to the discussion our personal relationships and experiences with this population. Most of the local pastors, including me, had some of severely poor in their congregations. In my case, I had become good friends with some of the “backwoods” men, which was significant because these men considered male ministers to be “sissy” and believed church was primarily for women. Jackie knew poor families through going into their homes to help people work on getting their GED and assisting young mothers in the basic care for their babies and young children.
To telescope the process, the “Business Forum” led to a series of community discussions which grew to include all the churches (even the local fundamentalist Baptist church) and community leaders. Ideas were developed for addressing basic parenting needs, educational help, personal skills development, and marketing native crafts. A local funeral director and his wife were able to communicate the exciting possibilities of this ministry opportunity to their regional church leaders, which led to the Roman Catholic Diocese of Binghamton, New York giving us a grant for the first three years of operation. The most significant contribution, however, was the willingness of three sisters of the order of St. Joseph to come live in the valley and develop this ministry to the rural poor, which late 1987 became known as the Cortland-Chenango Rural Services.
The ministry continued to be ecumenical and community-based, with the headquarters located initially in the Catholic church building. Within three years we expanded to two buildings where a number of ministries were offered: family counseling, basic skills development, reading classes, marketing workshops for local products such as maple syrup, crafts, and firewood. A twentyfive acre field was donated, which was divided into parcels for local poor families to grow gardens. It became known as “the field of dreams.”
I led and spearheaded this ministry until the three sisters felt they knew the area well enough, and a strong community board had been formed. Naturally, as pastor of the Presbyterian church I had encouraged people in the congregation to find places of ministry and leadership, which included some working with the Rural Services. The particular issues (which are related) the Presbyterian church became particularly involved with was addictions and families in crisis. We developed a strong AA group (led by members of the church who were just beginning to face their own alcoholism), and our Christian growth small groups typically had a few members who were wrestling with drug addiction. Our announcements in worship included such things as “Brian has been clean from cocaine for three months now” with applause following. The local fundamentalist Baptist pastor even started sending his “troubled” members to the Presbyterian church, telling them “They fix broken people at that church.” Certainly, this remains one of the best compliments to any ministry of which I have been a part.
In the fall of 1987 I was invited to participate in a group advising then Governour Mario Cuomo on rural issues in New York state. While this was a nice honor, and was fun to get free trips to Albany, the closest I ever got to the governour was almost crashing into him when we were leaving one of our “advisory” meetings (where he did 98 percent of the talking).
Not everything I’ve tried to do has come together as nicely, worked as well, and been as long lasting as the Cortland-Chenango Rural Services. Just ask Rev. Michael Romero (now executive pastor at Desert Son Community Church in Tucson, AZ) about our attempt (in Denver, Colorado) to develop “GraceTech,” a ministry to help people have access to low cost training for computer careers. We tried to do too much too soon with too little support (although we still had lots of fun even in failure). However, my basic premises in how to approach any ministry are similar. I seek God’s call to a situation, trust God’s leading, come into the situation being open to the Spirit’s guidance, assess the needs, set my objectives, learn the culture, network like crazy, find and encourage emerging leaders, develop equipping structures to reinforce present ministries and promote the development of new ones.
One thing I have learned both through doing it right sometimes and wrong other times, is to concentrate on two basic resources before attempting or continuing a ministry. The first is to have the core group of people who are called and passionate about the endeavor before them. It is critical to find this group and do adequate preparatory work on the relationships before engaging in the challenges and stresses of developing the ministry, whatever it may be. The second resource comes out of the first, the finances and skills needed to accomplish the goals of the ministry. These are obtained through a number of ways, but primary to their effectiveness is the work of the people who are committed to the ministry. It is their diligence, passion, and risks that inspire others to give to a ministry project, sometimes even inspiring others to give themselves to the project (as God so leads, of course).
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
A Sister's Heart
(The following is a letter written by my 20 year old daughter, Jennifer, for her 3 year old sister, Leah. It was part of an assignment for a psychology class Jennifer was taking at Biola University. Along with the nice affection expressed by a big sister for her little sister, this touches on the challenge of being a woman in a world that works against God's intention for women. Of course, my daughter is able to express this in a much more authentic way than I ever could.)
Dear beautiful girl,
Dear beautiful girl, If you could only grasp this idea and reality of your beauty, you would never think for a second that you are not enough. What can I say to remind you that you are stunning? That the angels stand in awe and wonder when they see your shining face and hear your priceless laughter? How God has fashioned a reflection of Himself in you that will never be manifested in any other woman in all of time? When I heard the news that you would be born, I could not begin to understand what a miracle it was that God decided to make you.
Who am I to be your sister? Even though the same blood does not run through us, I have a sister's heart for you and I am just beginning to understand the weight of my privilege and honor in having it. I am supposed to know the answers to the questions you will one day ask, and it breaks my heart that you will ever ask them. But I know every woman second guesses her beauty and Satan will scream at her that she is ugly and worthless and the only way to be of worth is to please lustful appetites. I know those days will come, but if I had my way you would never have to hear any of those lies.
Is there any way to preserve your innocence forever? Is there anything I could say that would convince you that you are the most beautiful little girl I have ever known? Will I ever be ready to see you lose your innocence? When you realize that there is a fork in the road-- I can only pray that you take the road of self-assurance and worth. What can I do to make sure that you take that path instead of the other path that leads to a pit of emptiness? We are lured into the pit with promises of wholeness and love, and once we take the bait we find ourselves to have everything but those things.
All we want is what we were made to have, to be. Instead we are too much, not enough, too skinny, too fat, too clingy, too withdrawn, too loud, too quiet, too smart, too ditsy, too intimidating, not spiritual enough. We are never what we should be. All I can do is tell you now and always that you have changed this world with your existence. You will grow and become a woman--the zenith of creation. You can only find your worth and beauty in the One who made you; He is the only one capable enough to tell you who you are. All those other stupid voices, shut them out. Who are they to think they have any idea how much you are worth? If you hear them, and you will, hold your head up high. Walk with dignity and rest assured in what you know, that you are a daughter of the King. Clothe yourself in dignity and love. If you do that, everything else will fall into place. You won't feel the need to expose yourself, since you won't be starved and looking for cheap love.
You already have the very richest of love and it can fill you completely. I still can't believe that I have the honor of helping you walk into this way of living. I hope that I will be a woman who can model this to you when the time comes; I hope I will be ready. I love you.
Your sister,
Jenny
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Year Of The Great Porcelain Flushing Device
I figure it is incumbent upon even an erstwhile blogger such as myself to do at least one more post before this year vanishes. Of course, it is natural to look back at this year and do a few ruminations as to its place in one's overall life experience. For me, while this year has its ups, like growing in Christ, learning to trust God more, enjoying a wonderful family, and deepening friendships, it will be remembered by me primarily for its downs. Thus, the thought expressed in the title. I don't want to be totally negative by saying this was "The Year Of The Crapper," hence my attempt at a positive spin --- "The Year Of The Great Porcelain Flushing Device."
There are two primary steams that have merged to make a mighty flush this year.
The Economic Stream
In June, after having left a cushy job as pastor of a church due to a difference in principles, it finally became clear that God was not as concerned about maintaining my credit score as I was. Or maybe it is better to say that God had a much different agenda in mind than I had. Anyway, in June my wife and I missed our first mortgage payment ever. And that is when I learned that a certain large banking company operates its business using a second grade understanding of math.
We went through this bank's "counseling" service with the assurance that a catchup plan would be offered in order to help us get current again in our mortgage. After working on this for about a month, an official from the bank called to tell us that they had figured out the problem in our finances and they had a plan to fix it. The problem, they announced like a child who has discovered their thumb, is that "You don't have enough money to pay your mortgage." Wow! Was that ever a shocking surprise to my wife and me. And their solution was even more stunning in its insightfulness. "All you need to do is pay your past due amount and that will make you current in your mortgage." Again, to encounter such wisdom is wilting, like coming out of the dark into the bright sun.
Leaving my sarcasm to make a more salient point, I now know firsthand how mortgage companies can be so condescending and unhelpful when you are a customer in financial trouble. Part of the crisis is the inane behaviour of the banks themselves as they actually force people toward foreclosure. As Federal Reserve chair Ben Bernanke has pointed out, if banks would work with their troubled clients rather than simply pressuring them, the banks could recover many of their at-risk mortgages. When people are able to stay in their homes, the mortgages get paid. When they are forced out, everyone gets stuck with the bill.
On the miraculous side, just when we needed more income desperately (as my wife and I had only been able to find short, temporary jobs since our exiting Hus Church), God set in motion a series of extraordinary events which led to us having regular work at the local General Mills cereal factory. Although this was through a temporary job agency, the crew leader at General Mills appreciated our positive attitude and desire to do our work well. This gave us the first substantial income since leaving Hus Church, and was a bridge to the more stable income we have now with my wife and me working so-called "permanent" jobs. We are still struggling to just survive each month (which we will till either I find another ministry position and/or sell our house), but God has been so gracious in giving us at least a stabilized financial situation for the time being.
The Career Stream
I've never really viewed my calling to be a pastor as a career. If I did, I would have never taken the risks I have over the years, like leaving a church that was vital and growing (and wanted me to stay) to explore a call to intentional Christian community, or dragging my family to Croatia to strengthen existing ministries and develop new ones. My willingness to set aside what is prudent career-wise for what I believed God wanted me to do was the key factor in my taking the pastor position at Hus Presbyterian Church.
When I first arrived at Hus Church I found a formality-encrusted congregation with deep rifts of resentment toward one another due to past church crises. During my five plus years of faithful service there were many miraculous changes in its atmosphere and ministry. As I tried to emphasize and practice trust and openness, this congregation that was basically invisible in its own neighborhood became known throughout the Cedar Rapids area as an "old well with fresh new spring water flowing forth." The service became an uplifting experience where the presence of Christ was sensed and the Spirit of God moved in the hearts of many. Many longtime members encountered Christ as their Lord and Saviour for the first time in their lives, and despite some very critical opposition from some who wanted a church with no expectations and a Christ who made no claims, the church made incredible strides toward becoming a biblical, Spirit-led, Gospel-proclaiming, outreaching, missional church. God confirmed our direction by blessing this church with incredible miracles, such as healings, new believers, and a doubling of funding for ministry. However, in my fifth year I was brutally reminded that people who are intent on destruction are ever waiting, ever vigilant, for their opportunities. As it became clear that the detractors were being given influence, and that key leaders were now intent on retreating from the demands of being a missional ministry, I began the work of leaving this ministry and seeking a new one.
After a year and half of seeking a new ministry, it has become clear to me that my career (at least as much of a career as I ever had) is probably in the great bathroom flushing device. I can hardly count the times I've had pastor search committees tell me how much they are attracted to me, but they are reticent to present to their congregation someone who "didn't stick with" their previous ministry. Plus, there has been an undercurrent that I'm becoming more aware of as time goes on, and that is the reluctance of search committees to consider someone of my "age." Apparently, only those who are younger than fifty are considered truly able to be good ministers. When "having to leave" a previous ministry and being over 50 years old are combined, it apparently adds up to "we are attracted to you BUT we really can't consider you." Never mind that I am better equipped now through years of training, experience, and spiritual growth than I ever was in my forties, never mind that I have children younger than most people in their thirties, and never mind that I have at least twenty prime ministry years ahead of me.
Yet, I have seen God's leading in this career wreck. Both my wife and I believe that one reason God sent us to Hus Presbyterian Church was for our own disciplining. (I'm talking about discipline in a positive sense of training, teaching, and perfecting.) Looking back, we now believe that instead of leaving our work in Croatia to come home for the medical needs of our middle son (who has cerebral palsy), we should have stayed and trusted God to provide. Instead of letting God receive the glory by guiding us to answers for our son's needs there, we took matters into our own hands and in effect said through our actions that "God isn't going to provide in this case, so it's up to us." This was after God had performed miracle after miracle in getting us to Croatia and then taking care of us in absolutely incredible ways. So after coming back to the United States, God sent us to a church with an eastern European heritage similar to Croatia. But in this case it was all the negative aspects of eastern European culture without any of the enjoyable positives. And it is not just coincidence that during my last six months at Hus Church I kept hearing several leaders say over and over that "We can't expect any more miracles here at Hus." Shocking words to hear expressed openly, but what my wife and I had in effect said with our actions 6 years earlier. While there are many other reasons with far greater positives for God sending me to Hus Church, disciplining my wife and I was certainly foremost among them.
Then there is the incredible blessing of our two youngest children, who we adopted during our time here in Cedar Rapids. This is definitely one of the "rewards" for our obedience in serving at Hus Church. My wife has always sought to help children, and foster care has been one of the ways for doing this. Our 5 year old son and our 3 year old daughter both came to us through this route, and they are definitely worth all that we have gone and are going through. Since both are African-American, we definitely get some strange looks at the grocery store, not to mention the scolding looks my wife used to get from some of the stodgy people at Hus Church. These two, along with our 10 year old middle son, keep my wife and I motivated to keep on keeping on. With three young children and two others in college, it is so important to stay positive and continue to look forward; seeking God's will and hoping for something better.
This brings me to the end of this blog and the end of the Year of the Great Porcelain Flushing Device. God be praised for this year, and God be praised this year is ending. Now after this cathartic exorcising of the downs of 2008, I am looking forward to new and better things in 2009. Hopefully, this year God will lead me to a new ministry that is exciting, promising, and joyful. For any and all who for whatever reason are still reading at this point, my prayer for you is that 2009 will be an up year for you as you seek to serve God with all your heart, mind, and soul.
In Christ's Peace,
Will
There are two primary steams that have merged to make a mighty flush this year.
The Economic Stream
In June, after having left a cushy job as pastor of a church due to a difference in principles, it finally became clear that God was not as concerned about maintaining my credit score as I was. Or maybe it is better to say that God had a much different agenda in mind than I had. Anyway, in June my wife and I missed our first mortgage payment ever. And that is when I learned that a certain large banking company operates its business using a second grade understanding of math.
We went through this bank's "counseling" service with the assurance that a catchup plan would be offered in order to help us get current again in our mortgage. After working on this for about a month, an official from the bank called to tell us that they had figured out the problem in our finances and they had a plan to fix it. The problem, they announced like a child who has discovered their thumb, is that "You don't have enough money to pay your mortgage." Wow! Was that ever a shocking surprise to my wife and me. And their solution was even more stunning in its insightfulness. "All you need to do is pay your past due amount and that will make you current in your mortgage." Again, to encounter such wisdom is wilting, like coming out of the dark into the bright sun.
Leaving my sarcasm to make a more salient point, I now know firsthand how mortgage companies can be so condescending and unhelpful when you are a customer in financial trouble. Part of the crisis is the inane behaviour of the banks themselves as they actually force people toward foreclosure. As Federal Reserve chair Ben Bernanke has pointed out, if banks would work with their troubled clients rather than simply pressuring them, the banks could recover many of their at-risk mortgages. When people are able to stay in their homes, the mortgages get paid. When they are forced out, everyone gets stuck with the bill.
On the miraculous side, just when we needed more income desperately (as my wife and I had only been able to find short, temporary jobs since our exiting Hus Church), God set in motion a series of extraordinary events which led to us having regular work at the local General Mills cereal factory. Although this was through a temporary job agency, the crew leader at General Mills appreciated our positive attitude and desire to do our work well. This gave us the first substantial income since leaving Hus Church, and was a bridge to the more stable income we have now with my wife and me working so-called "permanent" jobs. We are still struggling to just survive each month (which we will till either I find another ministry position and/or sell our house), but God has been so gracious in giving us at least a stabilized financial situation for the time being.
The Career Stream
I've never really viewed my calling to be a pastor as a career. If I did, I would have never taken the risks I have over the years, like leaving a church that was vital and growing (and wanted me to stay) to explore a call to intentional Christian community, or dragging my family to Croatia to strengthen existing ministries and develop new ones. My willingness to set aside what is prudent career-wise for what I believed God wanted me to do was the key factor in my taking the pastor position at Hus Presbyterian Church.
When I first arrived at Hus Church I found a formality-encrusted congregation with deep rifts of resentment toward one another due to past church crises. During my five plus years of faithful service there were many miraculous changes in its atmosphere and ministry. As I tried to emphasize and practice trust and openness, this congregation that was basically invisible in its own neighborhood became known throughout the Cedar Rapids area as an "old well with fresh new spring water flowing forth." The service became an uplifting experience where the presence of Christ was sensed and the Spirit of God moved in the hearts of many. Many longtime members encountered Christ as their Lord and Saviour for the first time in their lives, and despite some very critical opposition from some who wanted a church with no expectations and a Christ who made no claims, the church made incredible strides toward becoming a biblical, Spirit-led, Gospel-proclaiming, outreaching, missional church. God confirmed our direction by blessing this church with incredible miracles, such as healings, new believers, and a doubling of funding for ministry. However, in my fifth year I was brutally reminded that people who are intent on destruction are ever waiting, ever vigilant, for their opportunities. As it became clear that the detractors were being given influence, and that key leaders were now intent on retreating from the demands of being a missional ministry, I began the work of leaving this ministry and seeking a new one.
After a year and half of seeking a new ministry, it has become clear to me that my career (at least as much of a career as I ever had) is probably in the great bathroom flushing device. I can hardly count the times I've had pastor search committees tell me how much they are attracted to me, but they are reticent to present to their congregation someone who "didn't stick with" their previous ministry. Plus, there has been an undercurrent that I'm becoming more aware of as time goes on, and that is the reluctance of search committees to consider someone of my "age." Apparently, only those who are younger than fifty are considered truly able to be good ministers. When "having to leave" a previous ministry and being over 50 years old are combined, it apparently adds up to "we are attracted to you BUT we really can't consider you." Never mind that I am better equipped now through years of training, experience, and spiritual growth than I ever was in my forties, never mind that I have children younger than most people in their thirties, and never mind that I have at least twenty prime ministry years ahead of me.
Yet, I have seen God's leading in this career wreck. Both my wife and I believe that one reason God sent us to Hus Presbyterian Church was for our own disciplining. (I'm talking about discipline in a positive sense of training, teaching, and perfecting.) Looking back, we now believe that instead of leaving our work in Croatia to come home for the medical needs of our middle son (who has cerebral palsy), we should have stayed and trusted God to provide. Instead of letting God receive the glory by guiding us to answers for our son's needs there, we took matters into our own hands and in effect said through our actions that "God isn't going to provide in this case, so it's up to us." This was after God had performed miracle after miracle in getting us to Croatia and then taking care of us in absolutely incredible ways. So after coming back to the United States, God sent us to a church with an eastern European heritage similar to Croatia. But in this case it was all the negative aspects of eastern European culture without any of the enjoyable positives. And it is not just coincidence that during my last six months at Hus Church I kept hearing several leaders say over and over that "We can't expect any more miracles here at Hus." Shocking words to hear expressed openly, but what my wife and I had in effect said with our actions 6 years earlier. While there are many other reasons with far greater positives for God sending me to Hus Church, disciplining my wife and I was certainly foremost among them.
Then there is the incredible blessing of our two youngest children, who we adopted during our time here in Cedar Rapids. This is definitely one of the "rewards" for our obedience in serving at Hus Church. My wife has always sought to help children, and foster care has been one of the ways for doing this. Our 5 year old son and our 3 year old daughter both came to us through this route, and they are definitely worth all that we have gone and are going through. Since both are African-American, we definitely get some strange looks at the grocery store, not to mention the scolding looks my wife used to get from some of the stodgy people at Hus Church. These two, along with our 10 year old middle son, keep my wife and I motivated to keep on keeping on. With three young children and two others in college, it is so important to stay positive and continue to look forward; seeking God's will and hoping for something better.
This brings me to the end of this blog and the end of the Year of the Great Porcelain Flushing Device. God be praised for this year, and God be praised this year is ending. Now after this cathartic exorcising of the downs of 2008, I am looking forward to new and better things in 2009. Hopefully, this year God will lead me to a new ministry that is exciting, promising, and joyful. For any and all who for whatever reason are still reading at this point, my prayer for you is that 2009 will be an up year for you as you seek to serve God with all your heart, mind, and soul.
In Christ's Peace,
Will
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Leaning Into Hope
Do you ever have those times when all the concerns of family, life, finances, job, friends, schedules, school, appointments, and physical needs seem to pile up on you? If this ever happens to you, how do you feel? Tired, agitated, angry, anxious, and fearful? Most of us have very busy lives, but every now and then, I think most of us also have those moments when we get a good glimpse of all the different concerns we are juggling at the same time, and we wonder how in the world we can keep managing it all!
Lately, those of us in the United States are becoming much more familiar with the meaning of "apocalyptic." With the economic meltdown, the uncertain direction of American political power, and resurgence of the threat of a terrorist attack in this country, we find ourselves able to relate to phrases like "the sun being darkened" and "the moon turning to blood." Whatever can be shaken is being shaken, and Americans who are used to being secure and confident in everything from money to government are being shaken in ways they never imagined to be possible.
Panic in the face of an overwhelming reality is a danger for everyone, and Jesus points out that this can cause us to lose focus on God and what God is doing for us. When we lose this focus, we lose hope. And hope is what makes us able to meet all the challenges in our lives, to face all the difficulties, and to handle all the problems. In speaking to His disciples about the importance of hope in an apocalyptic world, He said: “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness, and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap.” (Luke 21:34)
Now, we don’t think of ourselves as people who are necessarily into “dissipation” or “drunkenness,” but what about the “anxieties of life?” How many of us find ourselves in an all too familiar relationship with these? If we focus on our anxieties without looking at the promises we have in Christ, then our lives can start looking pretty bleak. This is how important hope is! Hope that is real and not just wishful thinking comes through knowing Jesus as our Lord and Saviour. It is trusting Him not only with our problems, but the problems of the entire world. This is what gives us the strength to live above our circumstances rather than under them, and to not be overcome by the “anxieties of life.”
I think of it as “leaning into hope.” I may be weak and tired, but I can lean on God’s promises in Jesus Christ, and they will hold me up. I may feel like quitting and giving in, but God’s promises call me to move forward, so I “lean into” what God has for me in the road ahead. Hope is a vision of the future that gives us strength for the present, and God gives us this vision when we know Jesus, and keep getting to know Him better through prayer and meditation on the Word. As we live our lives in the security and confidence that comes only through knowing Christ, the world can see clearly what Christ can mean for those who follow Him. It is in times like these that Christ followers have a special opportunity to display the life-giving, hope-giving grace of God in ways that are attractive to people who are drowning in the world.
Many studies have shown that people tend to become depressed and “weighed down” more during the Christmas season than any other time of the year. Perhaps that is why so many people tend to increase their “dissipation” and “drunkenness” through partying and excessive shopping. It is an attempt to fill that emptiness of soul that only hope in Christ can fill. I believe the Spirit of God is calling us all to make this Advent and Christmas season truly filled with joy, peace, and love by not relying on our own strength to meet all life’s challenges, but instead to receive the abundant strength of Jesus Christ.
Let’s all “lean into hope.”
Lately, those of us in the United States are becoming much more familiar with the meaning of "apocalyptic." With the economic meltdown, the uncertain direction of American political power, and resurgence of the threat of a terrorist attack in this country, we find ourselves able to relate to phrases like "the sun being darkened" and "the moon turning to blood." Whatever can be shaken is being shaken, and Americans who are used to being secure and confident in everything from money to government are being shaken in ways they never imagined to be possible.
Panic in the face of an overwhelming reality is a danger for everyone, and Jesus points out that this can cause us to lose focus on God and what God is doing for us. When we lose this focus, we lose hope. And hope is what makes us able to meet all the challenges in our lives, to face all the difficulties, and to handle all the problems. In speaking to His disciples about the importance of hope in an apocalyptic world, He said: “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness, and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap.” (Luke 21:34)
Now, we don’t think of ourselves as people who are necessarily into “dissipation” or “drunkenness,” but what about the “anxieties of life?” How many of us find ourselves in an all too familiar relationship with these? If we focus on our anxieties without looking at the promises we have in Christ, then our lives can start looking pretty bleak. This is how important hope is! Hope that is real and not just wishful thinking comes through knowing Jesus as our Lord and Saviour. It is trusting Him not only with our problems, but the problems of the entire world. This is what gives us the strength to live above our circumstances rather than under them, and to not be overcome by the “anxieties of life.”
I think of it as “leaning into hope.” I may be weak and tired, but I can lean on God’s promises in Jesus Christ, and they will hold me up. I may feel like quitting and giving in, but God’s promises call me to move forward, so I “lean into” what God has for me in the road ahead. Hope is a vision of the future that gives us strength for the present, and God gives us this vision when we know Jesus, and keep getting to know Him better through prayer and meditation on the Word. As we live our lives in the security and confidence that comes only through knowing Christ, the world can see clearly what Christ can mean for those who follow Him. It is in times like these that Christ followers have a special opportunity to display the life-giving, hope-giving grace of God in ways that are attractive to people who are drowning in the world.
Many studies have shown that people tend to become depressed and “weighed down” more during the Christmas season than any other time of the year. Perhaps that is why so many people tend to increase their “dissipation” and “drunkenness” through partying and excessive shopping. It is an attempt to fill that emptiness of soul that only hope in Christ can fill. I believe the Spirit of God is calling us all to make this Advent and Christmas season truly filled with joy, peace, and love by not relying on our own strength to meet all life’s challenges, but instead to receive the abundant strength of Jesus Christ.
Let’s all “lean into hope.”
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Recapitulation (with apologies to Irenaeus)
Well, it has been about six months since the Presbyterian Church USA General Assembly. My post-Assembly depression has subsided and I have moved on to a kind of "hopeful indifference." Basically, it seems to me that the best path forward is a combination of what the Presbyterian Global Fellowship and the New Wineskins congregations are doing. That is, each congregation that desires to be faithful to God, the Bible, and the Christian faith must essentially set aside denominational concerns and network directly with other congregations that are evangelical, orthodox, and catholic.
This does not mean ignoring the PCUSA, nor does it mean ceasing to win this denomination back to its call to be faithful to God. But it does mean that when it comes to doing the mission of God in this world, we can no longer view the structures of the PCUSA as allies in this venture. For the most part, our denominational structures are more intent on gate keeping than ever before. Witness the responses of most presbytery officials to those churches seeking to be dismissed to the Evangelical Presbyterian Church. They have been ruthless, heavy-handed, and so bureaucratically minded that they have brought nothing but shame upon all of us in the PCUSA. Plus, since the General Assembly six months ago, it seems the animosity of liberals toward evangelicals has become even more virulent than it has ever been. In my experience, the attitude of the liberals is approaching fascism. There is a desire to squelch all dissent from the liberal agendas by any means, even if the means are hate-filled and vicious.
So, why remain in such a hostile and toxic denominational environment? In a major way, I am saying we should opt out of this environment, but not by leaving the denomination but by becoming focused on mission with other like-minded congregations across the denominational spectrum. In a sense, I am advocating a more authentic connectionalism with the true body of Christ, which is ecumenical without ideology and far beyond the frontiers of mere denominations. This is a spiritually healthy and invigorating (dare I say --- joyful!) working reality with other faithful Christ followers.
So, why not just leave the denomination totally behind and shed ourselves of its dysfunctional restraints and obsolete structures? No, we stay because this is where Satan and evil are assaulting the Christ and His reign. And as Martin Luther so dramatically stated, we are to stand our ground precisely at the point where the devil is most forceful in his attack. This is where we are faithful to Christ, and this is where the Word of God is to be wielded as a sword against evil.
Some may object to my characterisation of those who reject God's Word and wish to worship at the altar of human experience as agents of the devil and evil. To be more precise, I am not saying they are themselves evil or Satan's missionaries, for the evil I see in others is but a reflection of the evil I harbor within myself. However, I will say that many of the liberals of the PCUSA have allowed themselves to descend into the domain of Satan, where in this darkness they are open to the influences and objectives of evil. How else can anyone so blatantly seek the destruction of marriage as instituted by God, be so indifferent to the slaughter of millions in the womb, be so offended when the Gospel is proclaimed to bring non-Christians to faith in Christ, enthusiastically align themselves with despotic purveyors of injustice who exploit vast populations, and discount the Word of God as the final and highest measure for all beliefs and actions.
I seek to be faithful to my vows as a minister in the Presbyterian Church USA. After all, I made these vows before God, not just a presbytery. However, my ultimate allegiance is not to a denomination which is but an artificial construct of human ingenuity. Rather, it is Christ who is my Lord, and it is Christ who is head of the Church, and the Church is the body of Christ as it exist within and through the many denominations and traditions of this historic Christian faith. It is with this Church that I will engage in faith and mission, and it is with this Church that I will worship God for eternity.
This does not mean ignoring the PCUSA, nor does it mean ceasing to win this denomination back to its call to be faithful to God. But it does mean that when it comes to doing the mission of God in this world, we can no longer view the structures of the PCUSA as allies in this venture. For the most part, our denominational structures are more intent on gate keeping than ever before. Witness the responses of most presbytery officials to those churches seeking to be dismissed to the Evangelical Presbyterian Church. They have been ruthless, heavy-handed, and so bureaucratically minded that they have brought nothing but shame upon all of us in the PCUSA. Plus, since the General Assembly six months ago, it seems the animosity of liberals toward evangelicals has become even more virulent than it has ever been. In my experience, the attitude of the liberals is approaching fascism. There is a desire to squelch all dissent from the liberal agendas by any means, even if the means are hate-filled and vicious.
So, why remain in such a hostile and toxic denominational environment? In a major way, I am saying we should opt out of this environment, but not by leaving the denomination but by becoming focused on mission with other like-minded congregations across the denominational spectrum. In a sense, I am advocating a more authentic connectionalism with the true body of Christ, which is ecumenical without ideology and far beyond the frontiers of mere denominations. This is a spiritually healthy and invigorating (dare I say --- joyful!) working reality with other faithful Christ followers.
So, why not just leave the denomination totally behind and shed ourselves of its dysfunctional restraints and obsolete structures? No, we stay because this is where Satan and evil are assaulting the Christ and His reign. And as Martin Luther so dramatically stated, we are to stand our ground precisely at the point where the devil is most forceful in his attack. This is where we are faithful to Christ, and this is where the Word of God is to be wielded as a sword against evil.
Some may object to my characterisation of those who reject God's Word and wish to worship at the altar of human experience as agents of the devil and evil. To be more precise, I am not saying they are themselves evil or Satan's missionaries, for the evil I see in others is but a reflection of the evil I harbor within myself. However, I will say that many of the liberals of the PCUSA have allowed themselves to descend into the domain of Satan, where in this darkness they are open to the influences and objectives of evil. How else can anyone so blatantly seek the destruction of marriage as instituted by God, be so indifferent to the slaughter of millions in the womb, be so offended when the Gospel is proclaimed to bring non-Christians to faith in Christ, enthusiastically align themselves with despotic purveyors of injustice who exploit vast populations, and discount the Word of God as the final and highest measure for all beliefs and actions.
I seek to be faithful to my vows as a minister in the Presbyterian Church USA. After all, I made these vows before God, not just a presbytery. However, my ultimate allegiance is not to a denomination which is but an artificial construct of human ingenuity. Rather, it is Christ who is my Lord, and it is Christ who is head of the Church, and the Church is the body of Christ as it exist within and through the many denominations and traditions of this historic Christian faith. It is with this Church that I will engage in faith and mission, and it is with this Church that I will worship God for eternity.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Blame It On Tillich
Occasionally and with much regret, I ponder the times in my past when I was incredibly foolish in buying into sophisticated rationalizations for acting in very ungodly and self-centered ways. In other words, it is very painful to see how I have been so adept at justifying sin in my life.
There have been several periods in my younger years in which I indulged in things that were clearly wrong, but in each instance I had convinced myself that what I was doing was okay and even sanctioned by God in some form or another. Then there have been sinful desires that I nurtured even into my beginning years as a pastor by deeming them as "natural" and "human affirming," like viewing sexy movies as "artistically expressive" or promoting sustained anger as a just response to whatever I perceived to be injustice. Like Eve in the third chapter of Genesis, I could not just directly disobey God by eating the fruit of the tree of knowing good and evil. First, it was important to find some "good" reason for eating the fruit, something that would justify the action as right and worthy. In this way, I was able to fool myself, and even like Eve was able to openly defy the clear Word of God while convincing myself that I was acting in a righteous - albeit self-righteous - manner.
The problem for me has always been my fear of missing out on all of what life has to offer. I have this voracious appetite for living life to the fullest. This is what attracted me to following Jesus in the first place. When I walked down that sawdust trail to give my life to Christ, it was in response to a sermon emphasizing that in Christ we can have life that is abundant and full. This is something I desperately desired, and still do. However, I've since discovered Satan has my number on this, and has used it to lure me into his dark domain where he can then influence my thinking and my living. After all, Satan can not tempt or torment any follower of Jesus unless we willfully choose to descend into darkness, for only there is Satan's power wielded with effectiveness against God's people.
Obviously, if I had been more diligent at studying the Word and immersing myself in prayer, there would have been less opportunity for me to be led astray, but where I became most open to yielding myself to evil's influence came not through the blatant attractions of defiance and immorality, but through my thorough and prolific study of philosophy and theology. In fact, I can even pinpoint the theologian and writing that most equipped me for justifying my sin, and that was Paul Tillich and his little book, Love, Power, and Justice. While I read Tillich primarily to "know how the enemy thinks," the subtleties of his reasoning were (dare I say) "beautiful." His use of existentialism in constructing a reality that ennobles all human desires in a struggle with the "void of non-being" profoundly resonated with my fear of missing out on living life to the fullest. Even though my copy of this little book is marked up with very negative comments that I wrote in the margins, his sophisticated reasoning captured something deep within me.
I thought I had mastered an understanding of Tillich, his thought had instead mastered me, thus now enabling me perniciously to justify my own sinful desires as being intrinsically "human" desires that need to be expressed in order to live fully. I began to see life as a Promethean struggle against all that would negate or demean the goodness and worthiness of basic human instincts. In this way, even the most vile desire of the flesh can be made to be a noble quest for discovering meaning. And like most who embrace this path for human potential or self-authentication, the wounds incurred become scars of honor for one's courage to go into the forbidden areas of life. This is a major theme in writers like Hemingway, Henry James, Balzac, Joyce, and Sartre. What is clearly revealed as sin in the light of the Word of God becomes rationalized as a courageous path for becoming fully human. In one sense, this lie of evil is sadly very truthful as one does discover what is fully human, but human in the sense of our deep alienation from God and the nightmare of regret-filled despair.
So, do I blame it all on Tillich? No, for it was the evil in my own heart that simply seized on Tillich's brilliant reasoning as a tool for justifying doing sinful things. Thankfully, the light of God's Word and the prayers of many faithful fellow disciples enabled me to recognize the darkness as the domain of Satan, and lifted me up into the life of the Spirit of God. Thankfully, it is only in God's Word that a remedy is found for being "fully human" in the sinful sense. Only in the Christ is there the healing grace of God that enables me to overcome the despair of my sin with the hope of God. Only when we can be lifted into the presence of God and find acceptance despite our unworthiness is the fullness of life truly discovered as God the Creator of life meant it to be.
As Irenaeus wrote so long ago - in a manner similar to Tillich's but infused with the light of God's Word - "the glory of God is man fully alive." But this is not mere life seeking to make its own meaning out of human existence; no, this is life that is from God, of God, by God, and for God. Homo adorans, human life that glorifies God, not justifying our sinfulness.
There have been several periods in my younger years in which I indulged in things that were clearly wrong, but in each instance I had convinced myself that what I was doing was okay and even sanctioned by God in some form or another. Then there have been sinful desires that I nurtured even into my beginning years as a pastor by deeming them as "natural" and "human affirming," like viewing sexy movies as "artistically expressive" or promoting sustained anger as a just response to whatever I perceived to be injustice. Like Eve in the third chapter of Genesis, I could not just directly disobey God by eating the fruit of the tree of knowing good and evil. First, it was important to find some "good" reason for eating the fruit, something that would justify the action as right and worthy. In this way, I was able to fool myself, and even like Eve was able to openly defy the clear Word of God while convincing myself that I was acting in a righteous - albeit self-righteous - manner.
The problem for me has always been my fear of missing out on all of what life has to offer. I have this voracious appetite for living life to the fullest. This is what attracted me to following Jesus in the first place. When I walked down that sawdust trail to give my life to Christ, it was in response to a sermon emphasizing that in Christ we can have life that is abundant and full. This is something I desperately desired, and still do. However, I've since discovered Satan has my number on this, and has used it to lure me into his dark domain where he can then influence my thinking and my living. After all, Satan can not tempt or torment any follower of Jesus unless we willfully choose to descend into darkness, for only there is Satan's power wielded with effectiveness against God's people.
Obviously, if I had been more diligent at studying the Word and immersing myself in prayer, there would have been less opportunity for me to be led astray, but where I became most open to yielding myself to evil's influence came not through the blatant attractions of defiance and immorality, but through my thorough and prolific study of philosophy and theology. In fact, I can even pinpoint the theologian and writing that most equipped me for justifying my sin, and that was Paul Tillich and his little book, Love, Power, and Justice. While I read Tillich primarily to "know how the enemy thinks," the subtleties of his reasoning were (dare I say) "beautiful." His use of existentialism in constructing a reality that ennobles all human desires in a struggle with the "void of non-being" profoundly resonated with my fear of missing out on living life to the fullest. Even though my copy of this little book is marked up with very negative comments that I wrote in the margins, his sophisticated reasoning captured something deep within me.
I thought I had mastered an understanding of Tillich, his thought had instead mastered me, thus now enabling me perniciously to justify my own sinful desires as being intrinsically "human" desires that need to be expressed in order to live fully. I began to see life as a Promethean struggle against all that would negate or demean the goodness and worthiness of basic human instincts. In this way, even the most vile desire of the flesh can be made to be a noble quest for discovering meaning. And like most who embrace this path for human potential or self-authentication, the wounds incurred become scars of honor for one's courage to go into the forbidden areas of life. This is a major theme in writers like Hemingway, Henry James, Balzac, Joyce, and Sartre. What is clearly revealed as sin in the light of the Word of God becomes rationalized as a courageous path for becoming fully human. In one sense, this lie of evil is sadly very truthful as one does discover what is fully human, but human in the sense of our deep alienation from God and the nightmare of regret-filled despair.
So, do I blame it all on Tillich? No, for it was the evil in my own heart that simply seized on Tillich's brilliant reasoning as a tool for justifying doing sinful things. Thankfully, the light of God's Word and the prayers of many faithful fellow disciples enabled me to recognize the darkness as the domain of Satan, and lifted me up into the life of the Spirit of God. Thankfully, it is only in God's Word that a remedy is found for being "fully human" in the sinful sense. Only in the Christ is there the healing grace of God that enables me to overcome the despair of my sin with the hope of God. Only when we can be lifted into the presence of God and find acceptance despite our unworthiness is the fullness of life truly discovered as God the Creator of life meant it to be.
As Irenaeus wrote so long ago - in a manner similar to Tillich's but infused with the light of God's Word - "the glory of God is man fully alive." But this is not mere life seeking to make its own meaning out of human existence; no, this is life that is from God, of God, by God, and for God. Homo adorans, human life that glorifies God, not justifying our sinfulness.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
The Summer Of Survival
Any of you stumbling upon this blog can plainly see that my last posting was some time ago. It isn't because I haven't had any ideas since late June, but after then I entered into a very intense time of plain old survival. After almost a year of not making the income I had in previous years, and spending much of June dealing with local flood issues in Cedar Rapids rather than keeping my finances in shape, my bank account was looking like Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard --- quite bare! With bills and a rather demanding mortgage facing me, my wife and I had to turn all of our attention to finding ways to survive not only financially, but emotionally as well.
So, since late June I have been spending a lot of my time working a temporary job at the local General Mills cereal plant, doing preaching for vacationing pastors, and negotiating pay schedules with various creditors who have this crazy desire to get paid promptly. It has been a real eye opener as I have experienced first-hand what many people deal with on a regular basis as they scrape each month just to get by as best they can. This normal day-to-day survival that is normal living for millions of people has proven for me to be very intense and, in many ways, debilitating. I've discovered that when one struggles financially a gulf is created between those who are doing well and those who are not. It seems that financial struggle is considered by some to be a sign of laziness, incompetency, lack of intelligence, or even in some cases, a sign of spiritual weakness. At the same time, my wife and I have found that there is a special bond of mutual encouragement and support with others who are facing hard and difficult times of whatever kind - financial or otherwise.
While this summer has had a hard edge for me, it has given me a greater depth of understanding when I talk with someone who has lost a job, is overwhelmed by medical bills, or is facing a mortgage crisis, or is just laboring to keep from going under. I know now the fear and stress that for so many has become just a part of ordinary living. However, I also have come to know in deeper and more visceral way the amazing grace of God that is just as real in the most difficult points of life as it is in the more stable times. I've learned how to pray with a real connection for people in all kinds of crises, and to empathize more truly with those who dealing with serious and emotionally-draining issues. As my friend Dick Speight of Come Rest Ministries says and writes about, I've become much better at "resting in God's love."
Yes, it may have been a tough summer of surviving, but it has been a wonderful summer of becoming more trusting of God, of really believing in God's goodness, and of experiencing the realities of God's grace in the midst of sending my zillionth box of Cheerios down the packing line at work. I've also been privileged to see the great respect I enjoy from my ministerial colleagues in Cedar Rapids as they have expressed care and concern through out this last year, with some pastors and churches even extending their generosity to helping out financially. (Sadly, my fellow pastors in the Presbytery of East Iowa have not exhibited such an uplifting Spirit.) I've met some very noble people who do menial work to scratch out a living, and they do it with incredible grace and a sense of purpose that puts me to shame (and repentance) for my condescending attitude and unthankful heart.
If God so chooses to lead me back into a ministry as a pastor in a church (and believe me, it will definitely have to be God's leading), my sense of compassion and empathy as a pastor for what people go through will be a thousand fold what it was before this year began. So, I have to say that for me the major emphasis of the church I presently attend has happened --- that is, I have become more Christ-like. And after all, isn't that the mark of a truly successful life!
In Christ's Peace,
Will
So, since late June I have been spending a lot of my time working a temporary job at the local General Mills cereal plant, doing preaching for vacationing pastors, and negotiating pay schedules with various creditors who have this crazy desire to get paid promptly. It has been a real eye opener as I have experienced first-hand what many people deal with on a regular basis as they scrape each month just to get by as best they can. This normal day-to-day survival that is normal living for millions of people has proven for me to be very intense and, in many ways, debilitating. I've discovered that when one struggles financially a gulf is created between those who are doing well and those who are not. It seems that financial struggle is considered by some to be a sign of laziness, incompetency, lack of intelligence, or even in some cases, a sign of spiritual weakness. At the same time, my wife and I have found that there is a special bond of mutual encouragement and support with others who are facing hard and difficult times of whatever kind - financial or otherwise.
While this summer has had a hard edge for me, it has given me a greater depth of understanding when I talk with someone who has lost a job, is overwhelmed by medical bills, or is facing a mortgage crisis, or is just laboring to keep from going under. I know now the fear and stress that for so many has become just a part of ordinary living. However, I also have come to know in deeper and more visceral way the amazing grace of God that is just as real in the most difficult points of life as it is in the more stable times. I've learned how to pray with a real connection for people in all kinds of crises, and to empathize more truly with those who dealing with serious and emotionally-draining issues. As my friend Dick Speight of Come Rest Ministries says and writes about, I've become much better at "resting in God's love."
Yes, it may have been a tough summer of surviving, but it has been a wonderful summer of becoming more trusting of God, of really believing in God's goodness, and of experiencing the realities of God's grace in the midst of sending my zillionth box of Cheerios down the packing line at work. I've also been privileged to see the great respect I enjoy from my ministerial colleagues in Cedar Rapids as they have expressed care and concern through out this last year, with some pastors and churches even extending their generosity to helping out financially. (Sadly, my fellow pastors in the Presbytery of East Iowa have not exhibited such an uplifting Spirit.) I've met some very noble people who do menial work to scratch out a living, and they do it with incredible grace and a sense of purpose that puts me to shame (and repentance) for my condescending attitude and unthankful heart.
If God so chooses to lead me back into a ministry as a pastor in a church (and believe me, it will definitely have to be God's leading), my sense of compassion and empathy as a pastor for what people go through will be a thousand fold what it was before this year began. So, I have to say that for me the major emphasis of the church I presently attend has happened --- that is, I have become more Christ-like. And after all, isn't that the mark of a truly successful life!
In Christ's Peace,
Will
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